Category: funny

Mysterious vowel movement – bacn

The grammar police have been called following the mysterious disappearance of the letter ‘o’ in a new Web 2.0 definition.

Over the weekend, the word ‘bacn‘ appeared in various emails and feeds. Used by the so-called netheads, it describes “low-priority” e-mail that is not important enough to reply to immediately, but is not spam – examples include Facebook notifications.

The Web 2.0 authorities are looking into this new vowel movement, as there is mounting concern that soon all the ‘a’s ‘i’s and ‘u’s will also disappear.

Early start-ups such as Flickr were blase about dispensing with the ‘e’ and this has become a common deletion, but this new dropping of the ‘o’ has provoked widespread condemnation.

Reports that the term ‘ssg’ being introduced to describe a mish-mash of different Web 2.0  products are unconfirmed!

Silly season: “Lord Lucan” spotted

Surprise, surprise, it’s a quiet news month, so a story that Lord Lucan is alive and well and living in a van in New Zealand as “Roger”, with only a possum for company takes centre stage…

This man who was thought to be Lucan has admitted that he’s on the run, but is not the former ennobled Englishman.

The real disgraced peer vanished 33 years ago and has sparked interest ever since, with rumoured sightings occurring almost every year. He’s alleged to have been living in South Africa, Kenya, Australia and New Zealand, from what I can remember, but none of these have ever been confirmed.

I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the story was believed and managed to be front-page news of The Evening Standard, or the fact that people still think Lord Lucan is still alive. Talk about the silly season.
Reports that Lucan was riding Shergar and while Elvis rode pillion at the same time have yet to be substantiated!

Frankie says… go plain!

For a long time, the humble t-shirt was a simple item of clothing that was worn underneath more robust clothing, to stop the body sweating so much.

Then, in the 50s, it was appropriated by stars to show “coolness” , such as Marlon Brando (in the Wild One) and James Dean.

Then there was the undeniably naff phase of sporting “tour” t-shirts, to proclaim your love of a certain musical artist (the older the tee, the better). In fact, I remember going to a Cure gig in 1991 in a plain white T-shirt and felt unfeasilby out of place. I should have been wearing a Pornography tour t-shirt from 1982, for goodness sake.

Then in the 80s, they became fashionable, thanks to the likes of Frankie Goes To Hollywood (Frankie says Relax) and Wham (Choose Life) . This spilled over into a whole cottage industry of meaningless or oh-so-witty slogans on the front of millions of people’s chests.

Celebs made them cool for a while, but they’ve gradually become less and less chic and the worst offenders are the Japanese who usually don’t even know what the words mean.

Now things have got out of hand, though. Slogan t-shirts are now no longer funny, or even clever, simple because they’re worn by the wrong people.

My partner was telling me about one of the worst she’d ever seen recently. A rather large woman, with greasy, lank hair and a dodgy skirt had a large t-shirt stretched over her rolls of fat (let’s not be too PC here), with the following slogan emblazoned on the front:

You can look, but you can’t afford me!

Let’s all start wearing plain white t-shirts again, please!